Starbucks and feeling homesick

I miss Starbucks. They don't have Starbucks where I live now. I remember back in high school, getting coffee was such a grown up thing to do. I only ever liked Starbucks coffee. I loved the Christmas editions. They were really yummy. And the green tea mocha. That always made me happy.

I'm feeling severely homesick. It's probably just the weather. Normally, during Winter breaks I would be headed somewhere with my family. This year, I'm stuck here. Alone. I guess. Not entirely alone. I have friends here. I have a job to do.

I just wish I can go back to the days where I would walk 20 minutes to my best friend's house in Newmarket and we would go and eat ice cream from the Korean market or have late dinner somewhere in the city. Most stores were open till a decent hour.

Being 16 doesn't feel like that long ago. Why do I feel so lonely tonight? Why am I craving for a coffee shop that I haven't set foot in for 7 months?

It's not the Starbucks I'm missing. I want to go home. I want to go back to high school. I don't like being 20. All this responsibility and stuff that is supposed to happen in the near future. Like maybe finding someone I want to be with. I'm in my 20's. I should be thinking about these things. Grown up things. I'm not a kid anymore. I hate that.

There is no age that I am currently looking forward to turning. I anticipated turning 18 because that meant I could legally drink alcohol. I soon discovered that alcohol was bad for me. So I gave that up.

I've experienced the parties, the alcohol, the guys, the girls, the butterflies, the rainbows, the hurt, the pain.

I've discovered that I don't like growing older. I don't like responsibility. I don't like waking up at 6am every morning. I don't like the idea of finally settling my thoughts.

I've also discovered something else. I don't like growing up but it's going to happen. I don't like responsibility but I like being independent. Waking up at 6am in the morning means a new day has arrived. And Starbucks isn't the only place that makes a decent cup of coffee.

So I've gone around in a circle. I tell you what I don't like and then I tell you that I can deal with it. I'm still feeling extremely homesick but I have pretty good company here too. And I'll figure out all this jazz about growing up as I go along.

I'll talk to you soon.


Krystina