Just laugh

My little brother is one of the happiest people I know. I miss him a lot when he is not around me. I remember when I used to get mad at him, he would say to me. 'Krystina, just laugh.'

Laughter is the best medicine. Finding the simple happiness in frivolous things. Like dancing in the rain. Or hugging a friend. Or singing in the shower.

I did something today that I never knew I could do. I took my brother's words and applied them. After surviving on two hours of sleep and copious cups of coffee, I was dizzy and tired. I sat at my desk staring at the giant white folders not knowing where to begin. I needed to clear my mind of any distractions whether it be exhaustion or hunger or frustration. So, I did something extraordinary...

I said: "Krystina, just laugh."

So I smiled and took out the first folder. A simple change of attitude can shape the course of your day. I had never felt freer, or more jovial.

I also remember something else my brother said to me. A few years ago, I came home crying because I failed one of my maths papers. My brother was really little at the time, he said to me: "You looked so much prettier smiling."

Children are extremely honest.  They can distinguish between real beauty and the images that society tries to implant into our minds infested with makeup and plastic surgery and breast enhancing techniques. Real beauty comes from real happiness. Real happiness comes knowing that life is wonderful. And that thought will turn into a smile. That smile will lead to laughter.

So you should just laugh.

Next time someone breaks your heart, laugh. Tell yourself it's okay because laughing through the rain means you know that there is a rainbow waiting at the other end.

Next time you don't win the race, laugh. Tell yourself that laughing through defeat means you are ready to run again.

Next time you doubt yourself, laugh. Tell yourself that laughing at your imperfections shows that you are accepting that you are only human.

Next time when someone tells you that you are not good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, laugh. Tell yourself that you are laughing because these people do not know you. They do not know that trying to push you down will only make you stronger.

Next time you feel overwhelmed, stressed, hurt, angry or sad. LAUGH. Laughter will not erase all the pain but it will remind you that you are still alive. Life will always open its arms out to you waiting for you to embrace it.

So just laugh.

Every mountain you face teaches you a lesson

Last week, my Dad took the family to New Plymouth for a short break. New Plymouth is famous for its snow mountains and beautiful ocean scenery.

My Dad insisted on a two hour hike up one of the established mountain routes.

For someone who runs 3km almost everyday, my legs still turned to jelly an hour in. The only thing that kept me alive was the ticking of my brain. As I struggled up the half meter high steps, I realized that every mountain you face teaches you something.


1. The climb up is always difficult but the view on top is most spectacular

After a long and arduous two hours, we finally reached our destination. Sitting on top of the world, I savored every second of our success. We were the only family that made it that day. No matter how difficult things seem at the time, like my climb up, you will reach your goal if you keep going. The view on top is more spectacular than from any other part of the mountain.


2. Life will always move forward

I remember a beautiful quote from the Chinese drama 'Moment in Peking'.

'The world is round, it will never be square.'

My Mum explained to me; "A square has corners, once you reach the end, you will fall off. A circle is round so that there is no end. No matter what difficulties you face, remember, life goes on."

When we reached the top of the mountain, we faced the inevitable; climbing down. I was grateful because although we had wondered so far high, there was still a path down. What I'm trying to say is; like a circle, there is no dead end to our journeys. As long as we are alive, life will always move forward.

So smile because difficult times don't last forever.


3. If you run from rats, you will never complete the journey

I personally cannot stand rodents. They creep me out. About a quarter into the hike, I saw a rat scuttle across the dirt road. I practically freaked out. Still, I chose to ignore it and continue with my journey. Rats connote the insignificant frustrations that can sometimes prevent us from reaching our goals. We must have the large picture in mind and not be distracted by any rats that appear.







I hope you are all enjoying your well deserved breaks. Christmas is just around the corner and so is the excuse to gain 5 pounds.

Remember you can learn a lesson from every mountain you face.

My love forever and always,

Krystina

From father to daughter-All the good men

Snuggling up with my Mum at night in my old room, the loneliness of the past seven months disappeared. My Dad having spent so many years working abroad is home and my little brother is piecing together the Lego I bought for him. 

My family is here with me.

My Dad reminded me that I must always be there to lend people a helping hand. What we value in others, we must try and become ourselves. He confirmed that I still have a lot to learn. Everybody in this world has something to teach you. Never shut anyone out. No matter the circumstances, keep calm, stay classy and carry on. It will all work out if you maintain your integrity and good character. I used to cringe when my Dad began one of his lectures but this time, I listened.

My Dad, always protective of my brother and I inquired if I had a boyfriend. I admitted to him I did not. Dad told me that everything in life carries an element of fate. When the time is right, the perfect person will come along. I just haven't met him yet. I opened up to my Dad that I have come across and let go of a lot of good guys. My Dad assured me that while some relationships are worth pursuing, others are better left alone. If for whatever reason it didn't work out, no matter how ideal the person seemed at the time, they were not the one. You are not looking for the perfect man full-stop. You are looking for the perfect man for you.

My Dad advised me; time is always on your side. Take time to really know somebody before assuming they are the one. The silliest mistakes are made out of impulse. Don't assume you know everything because frankly, you don't. You are only nineteen. But if your gut is telling you something about someone, you need to listen. This gut feeling is often the accumulation of past experiences. Don't be afraid of letting go. Never torture yourself because a relationship didn't work out. You will mature with each failure.

The trajectory of relationships can be unpredictable. Timing is critical for anything to move forward. It takes more than mere emotional compatibility for two people to be together. Attraction is important but if you don't have the same values, ethics and similar backgrounds, the chances of working out are very slim. Most importantly, your big picture towards what you want in life must be in sync or else it can never work.

My Dad said the most crucial thing for girls to understand is to maximize their own standards. I must never be someone's backup plan. They if they don't value me, they are not worth my time. If somebody really cares about you, they will find a way to let you know. When it feels like you are trying too hard, it's probably time to leave. He must factor you in his life.

I strongly believe when I do something, I must put in 100%. If I enter a serious commitment, I need to try and make it last. I must also remain dignified. Girls need a clear direction for their lives so they can stand on their own two feet. A smart girl knows she has two arms and two legs and cannot rely on anyone else. I need to own an abundance of strength and knowledge so I can be there for the ones I love.

'I wish I was strong enough to lift not one but both of us. Someday I will be strong enough to lift both of us.' 

When the time comes, you must handle situations maturely and considerately. There will always be complications when two people are trying to establish a life together which is why you need to remember to work things out, just the two of you. In a relationship, you need to sometimes carry the weight of both worlds on your shoulders. That's why if you can't even cope with your own frustrations, you are not mature enough to deal with another person's.

Find someone who values you and accepts your flaws. I repeat my Dad's words; it's not able finding the perfect man. It's about finding the perfect man for you. Be with someone who makes you feel safe and comfortable. Someone who supports your goals and ambitions. Someone who loves family and has that strong sense of responsibility. When you look for this person, open your eyes. Don't be emotional, be realistic. Don't look for status, look for potential. Don't look for charm, look for character. 

My Dad finished his talk with a reassuring reminder that I am surrounded by love enough to last me a lifetime. Being alone does not equate to being lonely. Even if I spend the rest of my life without a man by my side, I will still be okay. 

And I believe him. 

Remember, you are that one in a million.

My love forever and always,

Krystina

Superman

When I was eight, my teacher asked me to draw Superman. I sketched planet earth. I drew a man wearing a red cap with Elvis Presley hair lifting earth with one giant hand. My conceptualization of superman was a hero who could protect me from all forms of danger. Among all the people I was aware of at that time, my Superman alternated between my Dad and a younger version of Bon Jovi. Needless to say, I envisioned him to be reliable, perdurable and occasionally, very handsome.

One day, I read a short story called 'Superman and Paula Brown's new snow suit' by Sylvia Plath. If you have ever read it, you will know it is the coming of age tale about a girl who compared her Uncle to Superman but eventually came to terms with the reality that Superman didn't exist. I wondered for a long time if Plath was right. Like the narrator of the story, was I only prepping myself for a huge disappointment?

I spent a number of years sheltered in a girls school. When I skipped a year and ventured into the real world, I comprehended the confinement that was my past. At school when you didn't understand something, the teachers helped you. When something went wrong, you spoke to your parents and they fixed it for you. No mattered what happened, it seemed like someone would be there to make things right.

Learning to be my own Superhero was a difficult task to accomplish. Moving away from home and the security that I never imagined I would miss, I felt lonely. I blew my entire month's spending on unwanted furniture and lived off bread for two weeks. I finally couldn't stand it any longer. Sitting alone in my room under the 40 degree heat, I called home. My Dad's response to my woes was that he would deposit some more money so I could buy a fan and some food. In the meantime, I just had to find a way to survive. Sylvia Plath's story found a way back into my memory. My Dad was no Superhero. I was disappointed. I was also relieved. We never did find out what happened to the main character, the narrator. Plath left the ending open for the readers to decide for themselves.

I decided Superman was never going to fly through my bedroom window and offer me food. Still, I wanted to find a way to provide the narrator in Plath's story with a happy ending.

A couple of nights later, I took the wrong bus to somewhere I had never been before. My first instinct was to call someone, anyone. Call Superman perhaps? My second reaction was to close my eyes and try to fall asleep. I knew neither plan would take me home. After a frightful few hours of successfully navigating my way through the dark, I had an epiphany. Maybe Superman does exist.

When we need a hero, somehow we will find a way to pull ourselves through.








This is just a short piece of writing I came up with before I head off to Melbourne with April. After three days in Melbourne I will return home to my old bed. I know I will have plenty to update you on while I'm floundering my way through the big city. My sense of direction is atrocious. Thankfully my best friend is with me, she can be my Superman for the next three days. I am going to go and start packing for my trip.

Remember.

My love forever and always,

Krystina